Deacon Frost -vs- The Bat

OK. Some of you know that I have had a history of bats in my house every year.
Well, yesterday I was talking with my friend Jay and was saying that I think I stopped the bats from coming in cause I haven't seen any this year. Boy did I speak too soon.

Last night at 11pm, I am laying in bed, snuggled in and ready for sleep when all of a sudden I hear, "Daddy!!!"I jump up and hear my daughter flying down from the computer room (which is in the attic). I asked what was wrong and she said a bat is in the attic. Great! Just Great! So I get the broom and open the door to the attic. There it is. The bat is doing laps around the attic at the top of the stairs. From the computer room to the wall at the top of the stairs. His laps are easy to time so I wait and at the right time...SWING! Nope! I missed, AND I broke the broom. I wanted to use my sword, but cause my samurai skills are a little rusty and I don't want to go stabbing holes in the walls.

So, I go downstairs and get a board I saved from a dresser I had thrown out this weekend. But when I go back upstairs, there's no bat. Where in the world is it? Now I have to go all the way upstairs. WHAT?!?! I KNOW he isn't in my office! I'm tiptoeing around in stealth mode, with my heartbeat at a minimum because I am getting myself mentally prepared for war. All of a sudden out of nowhere, there he is! I swing blindly and knock him into my office. The little nasty rodent is on the floor squeaking and looking at me. You want to talk creepy? This was creepy to the 10th power. I swear to you the thing had fixed his eye right on me!

I figured I must have injured him since he isn't flying. So I decide to go outside and get a stick to finish him off. When I come back, I realize I need to turn the office light on to see him good enough. I have my eyes on him while I'm feeling for the light switch. Man, as soon as I hit the lights, the bat came after me. I mean as soon as I hit the lights, the bat came after me.

Did you hear me say that as soon as I hit the lights, the bat came after me? I grabbed the door knob and closed the door as I ran (I didn't have a weapon with me so I had to retreat). The door must have knocked him cold cause after about 15 minutes, I decided to slowly open the door and there he was, laying on the floor breathing slowly.

I took advantage of the moment and stabbed him with the stick. The stick broke. Didn't even penetrate. Now what? I head back outside for another stick, but this time, I am sharpening it as I go back up. Now I am upset that this little flying rodent had me afraid, in my own house. I want revenge. I took the stick and stabbed him in the ear, while he looked at me. With the stab, his mouth opened to let out one last scream and in the background I heard the Mortal Combat voice say to me, "Finish him!" So I broke the stick in half and stabbed him in the mouth with the other half of the stick.

With victory in my possession, I took my victim out and disposed of him. I then returned to the battle grounds to clean up all signs of a struggle and returned to my chambers for sleep. Another victory.

Peace!